Sunday, October 25, 2009
It's a Gift
I have been told for ever that being single is a gift from God. Whenever someone would tell me that, I would think "well, it may be a gift for someone else, but it's nothing that I asked for." I've given myself reason after reason after reason about why I'm single. Things that are wrong with me, that I'm not good enough to be chosen, that I'm ready, or that there are no guys that are right. But none of that is right. Travis Osborne talked tonight at the Stirring, and it really hit me... I'm happy being single. The only thing that makes me unhappy is when I think of what I want in the future, but really, God is giving me what I asked for. I'd always been very "poor me" about the fact that I have never had a boyfriend... that it means there is something wrong with me. When I think about it, I decided long ago what I really want is to marry my first love. To not share anything with another man, to have no comparisons between my husband and men from my past. I also know that right now, I am not in a place in my life where I should get married. I am still young. There are so many things that I can only do when I'm single, and I should do them. That there are ways that God can use me that would be so much more difficult if I were married. That I am single for this season because it's what God knows is best for me now. Not forever, but now. I know that I was made to be a wife and mother. And someday I will. The thing I have always struggled with is not that fact that I am single now, but being afraid that I will be single forever. I know that will not be the case. Now is the only time that I can truly focus on God with no real distractions, and I can do so much for Him now that I won't easily be able to do in the future. So, I am single. And I am choosing to take my gift in joy. To trust God with my future, and offer him my gift now to serve Him.
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I bet there are millions of girls who would read that and their hearts go out to you, because they feel exactly the same way. Not that I do, I'm only 18. But I have worried before about what life would be like if I never did get married.
ReplyDeleteAfter thinking about this for some amount of time, I wrote in my journal, "I hope I still have this journal 5 or 10 years down the line when I get married. If I do, and I read this agian, I want to remind myself of a few things. Remember how you used to worry that you would never get married? Remember how you used to long for the chance to be united with some one special, and bring children into this world. If that blessing has come your way by now, don't forget how you promised to never take it for granted. Remember that it's a blessing."