A look at 2009

I've been looking over the last year, and I am realizing how blessed I am. When my mom asked me to write a paragraph for our family Christmas letter like I do every year, I thought back on my year and was actually pretty bitter. No big vacations, I didn't like my summer job, this last semester was hectic, and I have had a lot of friendship changes. But when thinking over the last year, I can be thankful for things that didn't happen. Only one person I know died this year, and although I was sad that I couldn't make the funeral, I can be thankful that he went peacefully. Also, in his death, his family found God. There have been many illnesses in my church family, and there were people that doctors said wouldn't make it through the night that are still alive today. God has blessed us with many miracles.

I love to travel, but other than a few trips down to Napa, I really didn't go anywhere. But then at the end of the year, I was blessed with some news. I am spending two months next summer in Germany. Two whole months! I am unbelievably excited, I have a great team, and I will be working with youth all summer. I have always want to spend an extended amount of time in another country, and I will now be able to do so.

As for my summer job, I just need to remind myself that I was blessed to have a job. I was blessed to be paid above minimum wage, and I was blessed to work with such great people. I went into Home Depot with my dad after church on Sunday, and I hadn't been in since I picked up my last paycheck. I doubted people would remember me, but the second I walked in the door I got three hugs from old co-workers. Even though I didn't enjoy the actual job I was doing, I had it pretty good for the job market that we have now. I was very blessed to have a job at all. Now I am working as a TA and getting paid to do things that I enjoy. I am the assistant of my Choir Director, and since I want to be a choir director, it is a wonderful experience for me. Since I won't be able to get a summer job, I am blessed to have a small, but steady income throughout the year to make up for what I will not be making this summer.

As for school, it's been difficult, but I pulled through with my 2 highest GPAs so far at Simpson. I'm proud of where I'm going, and although it keeps getting tougher, I am understanding things better and better.

Overall, God has blessed me this year. I have been through mountain top experiences with Him, but valleys have followed like they always do. Overall, I feel good about this last year, and hope that 2010 will be even better.

Simpson's Alma Mater Song?

I'm the choir TA, and I'm sorting and organizing music, and I just came upon the Simpson Alma Mater composed in Seattle by Helen H. Lemmel on April 20, 1958. These are the words:

Thanks be to Him, our Sovereign Lord,
for you our Alma Mater, staunchly true to His Word;
faithful to declare His glory to the nations
and tell His good news around the world.

Hear the endless march of the countless feet to our doors,
seeking knowledge of the truth and life complete;
for Christ our life we're living and to Him our homage giving,
dear Simpson, our Alma Mater!

It's a Gift

I have been told for ever that being single is a gift from God. Whenever someone would tell me that, I would think "well, it may be a gift for someone else, but it's nothing that I asked for." I've given myself reason after reason after reason about why I'm single. Things that are wrong with me, that I'm not good enough to be chosen, that I'm ready, or that there are no guys that are right. But none of that is right. Travis Osborne talked tonight at the Stirring, and it really hit me... I'm happy being single. The only thing that makes me unhappy is when I think of what I want in the future, but really, God is giving me what I asked for. I'd always been very "poor me" about the fact that I have never had a boyfriend... that it means there is something wrong with me. When I think about it, I decided long ago what I really want is to marry my first love. To not share anything with another man, to have no comparisons between my husband and men from my past. I also know that right now, I am not in a place in my life where I should get married. I am still young. There are so many things that I can only do when I'm single, and I should do them. That there are ways that God can use me that would be so much more difficult if I were married. That I am single for this season because it's what God knows is best for me now. Not forever, but now. I know that I was made to be a wife and mother. And someday I will. The thing I have always struggled with is not that fact that I am single now, but being afraid that I will be single forever. I know that will not be the case. Now is the only time that I can truly focus on God with no real distractions, and I can do so much for Him now that I won't easily be able to do in the future. So, I am single. And I am choosing to take my gift in joy. To trust God with my future, and offer him my gift now to serve Him.

Being Prepared

It's amazing how things in your life can be repeated over and over, and yet you hear things differently depending on where you are on your walk with God. The series Under the Chuppah as the Stirring has been a huge eye opener for me, and yet we had a very similar series my freshman year. It just goes to show how much I have grown in the past 2 years. Anyway, one thing I have really been struggling with as long as I can remember is being single. I don't want to be single. I tell myself I am ok with it, but when I see a couple together I feel so much pain. It's what I want.

Growing up, whenever I would have a crush on a guy, I would like him A LOT, but there was a part of me that would know that nothing would come from it. I had never liked a guy that was in love with God, and I knew that no matter how much I thought I wanted to be with said guy, I wouldn't. It wasn't something I realized until much later in life, but while other girls would try to see a future with whoever their crush was, I never would. I knew they weren't the type of guy for me.

Now I am at Simpson. There are amazing men of God here. There are Godly couples everywhere. I'm not saying all the guys are men of God or all the couples are Godly, but there is a fair amount. Healthy, loving relationships where God is the focus. That's what I want, so badly. I didn't realize it my freshman year. I was starting to see it my sophomore year, and now it's clear why I have never found that guy. I am still being prepared for him. I have told myself I would never date someone that I could not possibly see a future with. I don't like the concept of dating. I like the idea of modern courtship. I also love the idea of marrying the first guy that I fall in love with. I'm hoping for that. More than anything, I want a man of God that I can trust, that will be my shade, and that I will feel safe with. I want a man that will go to my father and ask for his permission to pursue me... to tell him that he will protect me and my purity. Nate painted such a beautiful image tonight of what a relationship should biblically look like, and I realized why I have not been with a guy, why I have not dated anyone. I am waiting for that. I want to be so filled with God's love that His love pours out of me, not go seeking a relationship to find love. And I know that I am not there yet. I am still being prepared. So I will wait. I will try to be patient until I am ready. Until I can stand with my beloved under a Chuppah, surrounded by friends and family and covered by God, and tell him that I have been prepared for him.

Psalm 63

Last year, the Stirring had a prayer night that I went to. During that night, I opened up my bible to this passage from Psalms, and it has been the way I have been basing my relationship with God on. I just wanted to share it with you.

Psalm 63 (NLT)
1 O God, you are my God;
I earnestly search for you.
My soul thirsts for you;
my whole body longs for you
in this parched and weary land
where there is no water.
2 I have seen you in your sanctuary
and gazed upon your power and glory.
3 Your unfailing love is better than life itself;
how I praise you!
4 I will praise you as long as I live,
lifting up my hands to you in prayer.
5 You satisfy me more than the richest feast.
I will praise you with songs of joy.
6 I lie awake thinking of you,
meditating on you through the night.
7 Because you are my helper,
I sing for joy in the shadow of your wings.
8 I cling to you;
your strong right hand holds me securely.
9 But those plotting to destroy me will come to ruin.
They will go down into the depths of the earth.
10 They will die by the sword
and become the food of jackals.
11 But the king will rejoice in God.
All who trust in him will praise him,
while liars will be silenced.

Joy

I'm at Simpson. I'm all moved into my dorm. I've seen some of my favorite people in the world. I've gotten some hugs. And when I was at the welcome chapel today, in the middle of worship, it hit me. Joy. Complete and utter joy. I'm home.

College advice from Kindergarteners

So, my senior year in high school, one of my classes was Careers in Education. Basically all I did was go to an elementary school 2 - 3 times per week and help out in a kindergarten class. I loved those kids, and I heard from hilarious stories from them. When I graduated, they made me a graduation cap that they all decorated, and they made me a list of advice for me as I go to college. I thought I'd share.


Our Advice to Jenni as she graduates and goes to college!
By Mrs. Middelstaedt's class

Get more money. If someone ofers you some, you can get lots more stuff. -Alexa

If there's a lost animal you need to figure out who its owner is. Go around to houses and people who are out of their houses out for a walk. Ask them if it's their animal. -Hunter S.

If you can't find a pet that you really like, just pick the bestest one there is from the one's that are there. - Gage

Go places... go to the mall, to the carnival, go to school. -JT

Take care of your baby when you get one. Get food, get some diapers. - Kacie

When you have a baby, make sure your baby shoesn't get to sharp things becayse they wil get scratched. -Kaitlyn

Buy yourself a big house. Make sure your house has lights, and doors, and windows. -Karen

Read a book before you go to bed. -Kourtney

Plant a garden with pumpkins and flowers like roses. -Kyla

If you buy a dog or a cat, you have to remember to walk it. -Layne

Make sure to cook yourself some food like fish, salmon is good, chicken, steak. -Madison

You have to get a little puppy and you have to remember to give it lots of food and water. And make sure you don't give him anything that is bad for him. -Mikey

You can buy a house with money. It should be a big one or a little one, but I think a big one because that would be fun. -Nataley

Have a pet and always keep it with you, even when you go to school. -Parker

Don't forget to buy your food. Pizza is good, fruit, like oranges and apples and bananas and pears. And don't forget furniture like couches and beds. -Romin

Don't forget to buy a car. You should get a red convertible! -Reilly

Cats are faster than dogs. If you get a cat and a dog they might fight. -Sam

Remember to buy yourself a car. You should get an Infinity like my dad's because they are cool cars. -Taylor

You have to go to work. You should help people when you have a job, like when their computer is broken. -Tyler

You will have to buy drinks for yourself, like milk or apple juice or orange juice. -Zoe

Have fun in college. Make lots of friends. -Hunter J.